Kira's List
by PhantomPurpleWolf
Summary: post-series AU in which Light is brought back as a Shinigami. Prompts accepted (no slash though).


A/N: I DON'T OWN DEATH NOTE. IF I DID, THEN WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ WOULD HAPPEN.

* * *

Ryuk looked at the lifeless form of Light Yagami. The human world had been interesting, but there was nothing left here. He could aways find another person to be Kira...but no, that wouldn't be the same. It wouldn't be as _fun. _Light had been hilarious, and besides the fool would likely get caught within a week.

Ryuk flipped open the Death note; "Hmmm," he thought to himself ",it should have happened by now..."

The only way to know was to go back to the shinigami realm...

The death god flew away, thinking of the secret, unspoken rules. The ones that he had not mentioned to Light...

* * *

Light opened his eyes to find himself in a grey world scattered with dust and bones.

"Interesting..." said a familiar voice from behind him. _Ryuk. _The shinigami was perched atop a gnarled tree branch, holding a half-eaten apple.

"I wondered if it would actually _work ... _"

"What worked?" asked Light.

" Have a look at this..." Ryuk passed over a fractured piece of mirror. "I know you were a great piece of eye-candy in the human world, but, sadly for you, you're not actually that attractive, by shinigami standards..."

"And you are, I suppose?"

"Point taken..."

Light stared in wonder and horror at the reflection staring back at him.

A shock of slightly matted, spiky, blood red hair hung over glowing scarlet eyes.

A dangerous smile spread across Light's lips, and the black lipped, fanged smile of the mirror leered back at him, gloatingly revelling in this newfound victory.

With blood still slowly seeping from his bullet wounds, he tipped back his head and collapsed into a fit of maniacal cackling.

"_I won." _He looked Ryuk in the eyes. "I thought this would happen, you know."

"Oh, c'mon... I know that you were incredibly intelligent, but you're not seriously suggesting that you worked this out beforehand..."

Light ignored the sarcastic "were".

"Believe it or not..."

Ryuk interrupted. "I know that I will probably regret asking, but how?..."

"When we first met, you said that, if I used the death note,I would be unable to enter either heaven or hell. So my first thought was, _oh, so I'll probably become a shinigami then_, it was the first logical answer that sprung to mind"

"So what are you going to do now, _Kira_?..."

"I think we have a visit to the human world to make..."

"Your timing couldn't have been better," laughed Ryuk, "this was my last earth apple!"

"I actually have a list of things that we need to do. You're going to enjoy this one Ryuk..."

* * *

**#1: Scare Near**

Near was sitting quite happily among his castle of dice when someone ran through the door.

"Near! Kira has started killing again!"

"Kira is dead."

"No he isn't. Look at the news!"

The TV flickered to life.

"_Despite word that Kira is dead, recent events would make it not so. Twelve criminals have died of heart attacks in the past hour-"_

Near's eye twitched.

_"-some criminals have also, reportedly, been leaving messages..."_

"Mick Do we have access to these messages?"

Mick spluttered in surprise. he couldnt believe what he was hearing.

_"...these messages are, our scources say, supposedly directed at 'N', a detective rumored to be the successor to the late 'L'. He is best known for helping the FBI in the recent 'kira investigation'..."_

Near flinched.

"Stop this broadcast." when Mick made no move to do so, he screamed hysterically "NOW!"

As Mick scuttled out of the corridor, Near added "and fetch me a copy of all of the suicide notes, in chronological order." regaining his composure, Near turned to his secretary.

"Alice, could you put in an order for some more dice. Make it about twenty packets. Make that twenty thousand. It's going to be a long day..."

* * *

Near flicked casually through the suicide notes. Whilst he had managed to retain a calm exterior, his brain seemed to have decided to shut down, meaning that any coherent thought was impossible. His eyes scanned the collection of hastily scrawled messages, which he had taped together,in order of course, to form one fairly lengthy message. Near read the jumbled words in front of him for the thousandth time:

_Hello, N, or would you prefer near? I hear that that's what your name is these days. No offence, Near, but, quite frankly, you have one of the most ridiculous names that I have ever heard. I mean, I thought 'Mello' was stupid, but at least that was close to an actual name. I heard that you chose that name yourself. Either that, or your parents were incredibly cruel. I would like to take this opportunity to gloat, as I have two excelent names. I know, I know, any one with half a brain cell and a good sense of humor can, and has worked out what "Yagami" is bacwards. I am of course referring to "light" and "kira", just in case you hadn't figured that one out yet, and, lets face it, you didn't last time. At least, not till I actually came out and admitted it anyway. I hope that all of these notes reach you safely, as I want to see the look on your face as you read them. Yes, I can see you. Chances are, I'm hovering over your shoulder right now. Ha! Bet you looked over your shoulder then, didn't you?..._

When he read that, Near inwardly cringed. He had looked around repeatedly since he had started reading. He felt as if he had been publicly humiliated. Even though there was no-one in the room.

_...picking up where we left off, specifically, on the subject of names, I know what yours is. Oh yes, NATE RIVERS, now you're scared, aren't you? Worried that I'm going to write your name in my little black book? oh, I wouldn't dream of it. It's just so much fun watching you squirm. Just remember, I know when you're going to die. And I can make it happen at my leisure. Have fun thinking about that as you drift off to sleep. On another matter, you really need to stop pretending to be L. I mean, you can't even sit like Gollum. On top of that, your hair is completely wrong. It's nowhere near spazzed up enough. And, hey Near, what do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant! Seriously, you're thick. and I bet cakes make you fat. Go on. admit it. they do dont they?..._

Near felt indignant every time he read that. What had happened between him and a victoria sponge was none of Light's business.

_...All of this proves that you are nowhere near worthy to claim the mantle of L. As such, I'll probably decide to get rid of you soon. Or will I? I just haven't decided yet. See you in hell, ciao, and lots of love, Kira._

_P.S. I'm watching you..._

* * *

Mick was worried. Near had spent the past week in his office. The dice whch he had ordered, had finally been moved into the office, only last night. Mick assumed that Near did not want to be interrupted, he rarely did. But, compared to 'L', near seemed incredibly sociable.

To say that his current behavior was unusual would be an understatement.

* * *

Near was getting instant updates. Every message flashed up on the screen, as soon as it was found by the police. None of the messages had been revealed to the public yet, but it was only a matter of time before a member of the press got to a dead criminal first... and, knowing his luck, it would be one with his real name in it. then they'd know everything. They'd run a sixty page special on his life. He'd be lynch-mobbed by kira worshippers. The entire world would discover 'the victoria sponge incident!' it couldn't get any worse.

A new message appeared.

_Hello, nate. I've decided that you've got boring. Nothing personal, of course, you're just no fun anymore. So I have decided to kill you off. I thought that I'd get some small form of entertainment from letting you know. I thought that id start the countdown now..._

A second message pinged onto the screen

_5..._

then another

_4..._

and another

_3..._

and another

_2..._

and another

_1..._

Near panicked as he braced himself for the inevitable heart attack, rocking back and fourth, clutching his favourite dice in his hand. The fatal message appeared, and he force his eyes towards it, wondering if it would be the last thing that he saw.

_JUST KIDDING! Wow, I really had you there, didn't I? Just remember, it could actually happen. Be seeing you (but you won't see me), Kira._

* * *

Near drowsily lifted his head off the desk. he had fallen asleep in his chair, again, after being too afraid to fall asleep. He looked over to the wall, where his dice had been painstakingly arranged. for the first time ever, Near screamed.

* * *

mick and alice sprinted towards the door, thundering through it in a vicious fear. near was still yelling. he was sat in his chair, surrounded by a large number of cheap, plastic toys, rocking rapidly backwards and forwards. mick did not see the cause of near's distress, until he turned his gaze right. nears dice were stacked up the wall. they formed the words:

_HELLO NATE_

Alice ran straight to near, and, as she tried in vain to calm him down, Mick picked up a note, which had been clumsily tacked next to the 'T'.

_By the time you read this, the chances are that I will have driven Near insane. Don't worry, I'll put him out of his misery soon enough..._

Mick heard an uncanny squeal from Alice's direction. He swiveled round to see that Near was slumped on the desk. He grimaced, as Alice started sobbing.

Kira was back.

* * *

**_Soullessemoperson: Hello, to those of you who don't know me, in other words, all of you, I am new to fan fiction. I have written the vast majority of the "scare near" section, but, as this is a co-write, I will have slightly less input on any other sections. I would like to take this opportunity to thank the death note fandom for not shipping 'lyuk' in a big way. I want to dedicate "scare near" to anyone who started to hate Light when he killed Aiber (as he was hugging his daughter. Saddest scene ever [sob, sob]), but then started to root for him again when they realised how annoying Near actually was. I was told not to put this in the fic, but I personally think that Near's voice sounds like Winnie the Pooh on steroids. Comment if you agree! As Nemo Dexter will tell you later, we will accept prompts. we want to know what you think Light should do next. thanxx 4 reading._**

THOUGHTS? PLEASE R&R, NO MATTER HOW MUCH THE STYLING OF MY A/NS ANNOYS YOU. YES, I KNOW THAT AT LEAST 70% OF MY VIEWERS HATE ME USING CAPS LOCK.

WE ACCEPT PROMPTS, SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK SHININGAMI LIGHT WOULD DO NEXT? IS THERE ANYONE ELSE YOU WANT TO SEE AS A SHINIGAMI?

PLEASE NO SLASH PROMPTS.

~NEMO DEXTER (PHANTOMPURPLEWOLF)


End file.
